Tuesday, March 6, 2018

I’m Too Old For This Green Eyed Monster

Mike came home from his fitness class last night revived from a great workout.  “How’d it go?” I asked.  He hadn’t been to the class for quite a while, and I was glad that he was feeling energized by it.
“It was good,” he replied.  “But there weren’t many people there like I thought there would be.”
“Oh?” I asked, “so who was there?”
“Just me, the instructor, and one other woman.”
“Just you and a woman?”
“Yup.”

Hmm.

As I write this I do consider myself to be too old for that fruitless competitiveness that women love to drudge up between themselves:  who’s skinnier, who’s got better skin, who’s got the better job, who has the best hair, who attracts more men — the items to add are endless.  But when my boyfriend comes home and says there was only one other person and it was a woman, that green-eyed monster does peek it’s head over the horizon of my brain, looking for a good place to jump into my thought-stream.

My younger self would’ve cried and carried on.  Would’ve demanded details and conditions and attention.  But over the years one learns that those behaviors aren’t really about the other person.  They’re about yourself.

So, even though I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I required from Mike some extra reassurance that I am still the most beautiful, talented, in-shape, wrinkle-free woman on the planet, I also remember that years have taught me well.  The only person we are ever really in competition with is ourselves.

2 comments:

  1. You have nice voice here. I love the line "the green eyed monster does peek...though-stream." It's so true. Those areas of ourselves peek out from time to time, and we just do our best to manage them. I love that you remain true to your own character and ask for reassurance from your boyfriend, though you don't really need it anymore.

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  2. I love how transparent you are in this post! It’s hard to admit when you feel those not so nice (but totally real) feelings. I’m sure that is something your boyfriend loves about you!

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